Of Anger
To Seek to extinguish anger utterly, is
but a bravery of the Stoics. We have better oracles: Be angry, but sin
not. Let not the sun go down upon your anger. Anger must be limited
and confined, both in race and in time. We will first speak how the
natural inclination and habit to be angry, may be attempted and calmed.
Secondly, how the particular motions of anger may be repressed, or at
least refrained from doing mischief. Thirdly, how to raise anger, or
appease anger in another.
For the first; there is no other
way but to meditate, and ruminate well upon the effects of anger, how
it troubles man's life. And the best time to do this, is to look back
upon anger, when the fit is thoroughly over. Seneca saith well, That
anger is like ruin, which breaks itself upon that it falls. The Scripture
exhorteth us to possess our souls in patience. Whosoever is out of patience,
is out of possession of his soul. Men must not turn bees;
... animasque in vulnere ponunt.
Anger is certainly a kind of baseness; as
it appears well in the weakness of those subjects in whom it reigns;
children, women, old folks, sick folks. Only men must beware, that they
carry their anger rather with scorn, than with fear; so that they may
seem rather to be above the injury, than below it; which is a thing
easily done, if a man will give law to himself in it.
For the second point; the causes
and motives of anger, are chiefly three. First, to be too sensible of
hurt; for no man is angry, that feels not himself hurt; and therefore
tender and delicate persons must needs be oft angry; they have so many
things to trouble them, which more robust natures have little sense
of. The next is, the apprehension and construction of the injury offered,
to be, in the circumstances thereof, full of contempt: for contempt
is that, which putteth an edge upon anger, as much or more than the
hurt itself. And therefore, when men are ingenious in picking out circumstances
of contempt, they do kindle their anger much. Lastly, opinion of the
touch of a man's reputation, doth multiply and sharpen anger. Wherein
the remedy is, that a man should have, as Consalvo was wont to say,
telam honoris crassiorem. But in all refrainings of anger, it is the
best remedy to win time; and to make a man's self believe, that the
opportunity of his revenge is not yet come, but that he foresees a time
for it; and so to still himself in the meantime, and reserve it.
To contain anger from mischief,
though it take hold of a man, there be two things, whereof you must
have special caution. The one, of extreme bitterness of words, especially
if they be aculeate and proper; for cummunia maledicta are nothing so
much; and again, that in anger a man reveal no secrets; for that, makes
him not fit for society. The other, that you do not peremptorily break
off, in any business, in a fit of anger; but howsoever you show bitterness,
do not act anything, that is not revocable.
For raising and appeasing anger
in another; it is done chiefly by choosing of times, when men are frowardest
and worst disposed, to incense them. Again, by gathering (as was touched
before) all that you can find out, to aggravate the contempt. And the
two remedies are by the contraries. The former to take good times, when
first to relate to a man an angry business; for the first impression
is much; and the other is, to sever, as much as may be, the construction
of the injury from the point of contempt; imputing it to misunderstanding,
fear, passion, or what you will.